| By Jere & Brenda Vincent, Family Builders Ministry The Advent season is often one of the busiest and most demanding times for ministry families. Between services, events, meetings, and the daily pastoral responsibilities, it’s easy for pastoral families to find themselves physically present yet emotionally or spiritually drained. We know firsthand that in the bustle, it can be challenging to stay connected as a family and truly experience the joy of the season. But it is possible, with a few intentional strategies, to stay close-knit and joyful, even during Advent. We hope these seven ideas can bring some life-giving traditions and a renewed sense of joy and togetherness to your Advent season. 1. Protect Family Time with a “Non-Negotiable Night” One practice that’s been transformative for us is setting aside one evening a week as a “nonnegotiable night.” During Advent, this evening is sacred—no meetings, no last-minute sermon prep, no ministry calls (unless it’s a true emergency). This is family time. On our “non-negotiable night,” we do simple activities that bring us together. Sometimes it’s baking cookies while listening to Christmas hymns, reading a chapter of our pop up Advent book together, or taking a walk to see neighborhood lights with our dog Annabel. It doesn’t have to be complicated; the key is that it’s just us. This break in the schedule can be refreshing, and it’s something the whole family looks forward to. 2. Keep Advent Devotions Simple and Sacred The pressure of leading can often make a pastor feel like they need to provide a deep theological experience at home every night. But Advent devotions don’t need to be elaborate to be meaningful. We’ve found that a short, focused reading each night with a simple reflection helps us keep the message of Advent close to our hearts without feeling like we’re adding another task to the calendar. One year, we used a single verse from Luke’s Christmas story each evening, allowing our kids to ask questions or share something that stood out to them. These brief moments, shared around the dinner table or before bed, keep our family grounded in the story of Christ’s birth. When things get busy, simplicity can be a gift, helping us to focus on the core message of Advent—God with us. 3. Involve the Whole Family in Ministry—In Meaningful, Not Mandatory Ways Pastoral families often feel the weight of being “on display” in ministry. The reality is, our families are part of the community, but they don’t have to be performers in every service or event. In our family, we’ve learned to ask our kids which activities they’d like to help with and which ones they’d prefer to attend quietly. During Advent, we might serve as greeters, help with a community meal, or lead a simple familyfriendly activity at our home and invite neighbors. By allowing each family member to choose how they participate, we’re including them in the ministry without adding unnecessary pressure. This approach fosters a sense of purpose while protecting our family’s joy. 4. Remember to Laugh and Play Together This one may seem basic, but it’s incredibly powerful. Ministry pressures, especially during Advent, can make it hard for pastors to simply relax and enjoy their families. Laughter and play are essential for connection. Even just taking 15 minutes to play a game of cribbage(Our favorite), make hot chocolate, or watch a favorite Christmas movie can create shared joy that lifts the whole family. One of our favorite traditions when the kids where little is to make a “Christmas fort” in the living room using blankets and pillows, complete with popcorn and flashlights. We’ll read a funny Christmas story or enjoy a silly movie together. These light-hearted moments bring laughter into our home, reminding us that joy is at the heart of Advent. 5. Embrace the Power of Small Rituals We’ve learned that small, repetitive traditions can ground us as a family. It could be as simple as lighting an Advent candle each evening and sharing one thing we’re thankful for that day, or keeping a journal of prayer requests that we review on Christmas Eve. For us, gathering around an Advent wreath, sharing a prayer, and reflecting on the day has become a grounding ritual. These small traditions aren’t elaborate, but they’re consistent, providing a steady rhythm amid the rush of December. They remind us of God’s faithfulness and create memories that reinforce our family’s connection to each other and to Christ’s story. 6. Set Aside a Time to Reflect as a Couple As ministry couples, we can easily fall into the roles of co-laborers, co-parents, or even co-organizers, but it’s so important to reconnect as husband and wife. This season, try to carve out even 60 minutes each week to reflect together on the Advent journey. This doesn’t have to be a grand outing; it could be a late-night conversation with coffee after the kids are asleep, sharing what each of you is grateful for or a challenge you’re experiencing. We’ve found that this weekly “check-in” brings us back to a shared sense of purpose and keeps us focused on Christ and each other. 7. Allow Space for Grace Finally, give yourself and your family plenty of grace. Not every tradition has to be perfect, and it’s okay to say “no” to extra events or commitments if they’re going to strain your family’s well-being. Advent is a journey of anticipation and hope, and the grace we offer ourselves and each other can often be one of the greatest gifts. In the end, Advent isn’t about checking off a list of perfect family moments. It’s about staying grounded in the message of Emmanuel—God with us. As we open our hearts to the peace and joy of Christ’s presence, we find that our connections with each other deepen as well. Our prayer is that this Advent, your family can experience that joy and connection in a real and refreshing way. May this Advent season bring peace, laughter, and love to you and yours, even in the midst of ministry. |
Find Joy and Stay Connected During Advent as a Pastor’s Family
