Jack Daniel 
“You always put the church ahead of us!” Those were the angry words hurled at our friend by his adult daughter. The young woman had become estranged from both her pastor father and her faith a few years before, and despite repeated attempts by both parents to heal the break, she remains alienated. This pastor …
You are on a plane taxiing for takeoff; the flight attendant takes the microphone and makes the familiar announcement: “In the unlikely event the plane suddenly loses cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically deploy from the panel overhead.” She then demonstrates how to place the mask over the face. She concludes by emphasizing that adults …
In the introduction to his classic work A Handbook to Marriage, Theodore Bovet states, “Today for most people the man-woman relationship [of marriage] is decisive. It can lead to the discovery of self, neighbor and God, or it can lead to hopeless entanglement and inner ruin.” Strong words, indeed, but never more true than for …
The conversation would always begin with the same question; “How is your soul?” After we exchanged greetings and placed our order, Bob would zero in with that simple question, “How is your soul?” With gentleness and genuine concern, he pinned me to the wall. Even though I knew the question was coming, there was no …
We typically describe a pastor’s relationship to his people in leadership terms, such as shepherd or overseer, and rightly so, but leadership authority Ronald A. Heifetz offers us a new description. He claims that leading institutional change is a process of “disappointing people at a rate they can absorb.” This is a profound observation. In …
When I first experienced intense church conflict, it took me by surprise. I had never known anything like it in my life. As I related in Part 1 of this series, Minimizing Conflict, the clash occurred in the tenth year of my first pastorate. A small but influential group of long-time parishioners, mostly from one …
Conflict reared its ugly head during my tenth year as pastor of a mainline Congregational church. Prior to my arrival a decade earlier, the church been in steep decline for 30 years, and when I arrived, it was functioning more like a country club. The message from the pulpit was increasingly theologically liberal. Because this …
As I coach pastors around New England, I hear many stories about their naiveté during the interview process and what they learned the hard way, only after accepting a call. I can relate because I myself accepted a call too quickly, to the church I served briefly in retirement. I failed to ask about unhealed …
Okay, I admit I am envious. I’m envious of the new house my friend recently built. I’m especially envious of the energy-efficient spray foam insulation, modern windows and doors, and fuel-miser heating system. As I lug firewood and watch my woodpile shrink through the long Maine winter, I often wish I could start over, building …
One Sunday during last year’s Christmas season, my wife and I worshipped at the church of a young, dynamic pastor whom I had been coaching. His message was biblical, practical, and well delivered, and the worship music was uplifting and skillfully led. Only one thing was missing: Christmas! No mention was made of Christmas anywhere …
